TOP TEN INDICATORS

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left
when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from
Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is
"an apple a day..."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you
gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network
charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with
little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED THE GOVERNMENT'S VERY
CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick
and Duct Tape.